Some things are better left in the past

Tony Blair. - File photo

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There are several things in life that I neither wanted, nor expected to see. First on the list would be a Stone Roses reunion. They last recorded an album eighteen years ago, and to be generous, it was rubbish. Also, they were awful live the first time around, so why would anyone want to see them again? Needless to say, I was to be disappointed. Secondly, I never wanted to see a fourth Indiana Jones movie. Twenty years had passed since the last ‘mediocre’ instalment, and the thought of a paunch laden Harrison Ford with more make-up than ‘Dame Edna’ swinging from ropes at the age of 70, did not fill me with very much excitement. However, yet again, the lure of the Dollar was too great to resist. Of all the potential reunions and comebacks that are touted around from time to time, I was always reasonably confident and hopeful that I had seen the last of Tony Blair in frontline politics. You can imagine my surprise and horror when only a few days ago, Tony Blair suggested that he would like to return to politics and become Prime Minister again. I nearly choked on my Belvita breakfast biscuit! Could he be serious? Does he really want the job again? Perhaps he is just trying to stir up conflict within the Labour Party. No I thought, he is probably launching a new book and is drumming up some easy publicity. Just as I cleared the obstruction from my throat, it dawned on me. Tony Blair has an ego the size of Alaska, and it is entirely possible that he is ‘testing the waters’, and gauging what the media would make of it, or seeing how many of his former cabinet colleagues may drop thinly veiled hints that they would support him. Blair claims to have learnt a lot since he left office, and appears to be claiming that he is much better equipped for the role of Prime Minister than he was the first time around. What exactly has he learned? I suspect he may have learned how to ‘lie’ better or produce more convincing ‘dodgy dossiers’ than he did before. He has certainly learned how to make money, with several estimates suggesting that he has accumulated around £100 million since stepping down from office. Not too worry I thought, the voting public would treat his ‘testing of the water’ with the contempt it so richly deserves. It turns out I could not have been more wrong in my assessment. I have discussed the matter with friends and colleagues, read blogs and internet forums, and listened to a phone-in on TV this morning, and there is much more of an appetite for his return than I ever would have imagined possible. How could this be? Who could forget the cringe worthy image of Blair, Prescott, and other hangers-on singing along to ‘things can only get better’, immediately after the 1997 election? For a time, they did get better, albeit with the help of the economic stability that had been put in place by the tail-end of John Major’s government. The new-Labour government quickly became like all previous governments. There was endless sleaze, spin, clashes of personality, and back stabbing, and Tony Blair was in the thick of it. Blair was, and is, no mug, and just like any clever careerist, he jumped ship just as the waters became choppy. He then laughed all the way to a multi-million dollar speaking tour, as the good ship Labour, steered by Blair’s arch-enemy Gordon Brown, ran aground, never to sail again. As Brown et al had to stand and face the music, Blair, his teeth, blue contact lenses, and dull biography, toured the world, gathering company directorships, consultancy jobs, and a massive fortune in the process. Blair is obsessed with ‘legacy’, and having one. He need not worry as he already has a huge legacy. History will remember him as a lap-dog’ of Cowboy Bush, a lying warmonger, and the man who has the blood of hundreds of thousands of Iraqi’s, and coalition service personnel on his hands. Forget it Tony, and stick to after dinner speeches. There is no room in politics for an upper class vacuous oaf, with lots of teeth, and not much else. David Cameron has filled that particular niche with some aplomb.