Why are Mitt and Ann Romney so adamant that "you people" have seen all the tax returns you are going to see from them? Is it a result of Mitt's years as a Mormon bishop, a guy who tells YOU what to do and not the other way around?
Is it because of shame? We don't believe Mitt Romney is capable of shame. Would one who is capable of shame tell such egregious, easy-to-debunk lies as Romney has? Would one who is capable of shame have taken practically every position on practically every issue of importance to the American electorate and done so with a smile on his face?
Is it because he fears jail? We don't think Mitt is stupid enough to have done anything actually illegal with his money. Gawker has released some 950 pages of Romney's Cayman Island investment correspondence and other papers today, which financial types are frantically combing through.
Is it because he doesn't want you to know he paid less than you did in taxes? Good lord. Mitt Romney would BRAG about that. All rich people pay less than you do in income taxes. It's one of the benefits of being wealthy, being able to hire accountants who can scrutinize every farthing to ensure that you are paying as little as legally allowed. If Mitt's 2009 return showed he paid 0% in taxes because of the recession, he would shrug his shoulders and say, "Don't like it? Change the law!"
We have given this a great deal of thought and can only come up with two reasons that Mitt and Ann Romney are so dead set against releasing their taxes.
Reason #1: They just don't feel like it. That would be a silly reason, given the affect it has on his popularity. The whole "let them eat cake" thing just is not palatable to the average American.
Reason #2 (and we suspect strongly the real reason): Releasing the returns would show one or more years in which Mitt and Ann Romney did not pay a full tithing to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Never mind your earthly retribution for stiffing Uncle Sam on your taxes. Chump change! If you haven't paid your full 10 percent -- OFF THE TOP -- and that's 10 percent from Mitt and 10 percent from Ann... not just money, either, but property, possessions, EVERYTHING...
Once the bean counters in Salt Lake City find out you haven't paid your full tithing? Well, let's hear it from one of their own scholars.
Wikipedia (Public Domain)
Apostle Melvin J. Ballard says, "Pay your tithing or NO CELESTIAL KINGDOM FOR YOU, Mitt!"
Meet Elder Melvin J. Ballard, a member of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles in the LDS church until he died in 1939. Certainly, he would know a thing or two about tithing...
“Do we not hope and expect to have an inheritance in the celestial kingdom, even upon this earth in its redeemed and sanctified state? What are the terms under which we may obtain that inheritance? The law of tithing is the law of inheritance. It leads to it. No man may hope or expect to have an inheritance on this celestial globe who has failed to pay his tithing. By the payment of his honest tithing he is establishing a right and a title to this inheritance, and he cannot secure it upon any other terms but by complying with this and other just requirements; and this is one of the very essential things.”
If the Quorum of the 12 finds out Der Mittster and Lady Ann have been holding out?
No Celestial Kingdom.
No Planets to Lord Over.
No Eternal Sex to Create the Spirit Babies to Populate Your Planets
Mitt Romney can not and will not put himself in that position. Apparently Heavenly Father (Elohim) doesn't keep track of these things Himself and trusts the LDS accountants to make sure all temple worthy souls are paying their full tithing.
Mitt will gouge out his own eyes and eat them on rye bread before he will release a single tax return that shows he didn't give a full 10% -- and that's gross, not net -- to the LDS Church.
The head Mormon himself, the President of the Church, the direct successor of the Prophet Joseph Smith, Jr., and Brigham Young, Henry B. Eyring, says so himself!To receive the gift of living with Him forever in families in the celestial kingdom, we must be able to live the laws of that kingdom (see D&C 88:22).
He has given us commandments in this life to help us develop that capacity. The law of tithing is one of those preparatory commandments. The law is that we give to the Lord one-tenth of all our income. It is simple enough that even a child can understand it.
Even a child. Even a rich, greedy, had-everything-handed-to-him, went-to-France-to-avoid-the-war CHILD.
Release your tax returns, Mitt. I'm pretty sure they will accept retroactive tithing. You expected us to accept retroactive retirement, so the concept is not a foreign thing to you.
Release your tax returns, or be stuck with us in either the middle class Terrestrial Kingdom or the ghetto-like Telestial Kingdom.
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