A 'sideways' review of the latest goings-on in Emmerdale, the popular British Soap Opera.
For episodes broadcast in the UK 2nd-6th July 2012
*Warning: May Contain Spoilers*
Jai acts like a dirty dog; Marlon & Elliot have got puppy dog eyes, and Cameron's really in the doghouse with Chas.
"This never happened." Yes, those were Jai's charming words to Rachel when he woke up to find they'd shared more than a few nut clusters in the office.
Oh, you old romantic, you. Talk about knowing how to make a girl feel special (!)
The trouble in Soaps is that if you're a woman whose character's not the most fashionably dressed, or (what some people would consider to be) drop-dead gorgeous, then if you DO manage to nab (again, what some people would consider to be) a 'hunky' guy – then people can't believe it.
Rachel needs Friends – well, a boyfriend!
In 'real life', Gemma Oaten's extremely attractive and is a lovely girl (she took the time to speak to me at the TV Choice Soap Awards last year, and spends a great deal of time engaging with her Twitter fans @gemmaoaten), but you'd pretty-much agree that Rachel's not what you'd imagine to be Jai's 'usual' type – although if someone's drunk the best part of a bottle of whisky I guess 'type' wouldn't come into it?
I hope she gets a proper boyfriend soon though (not Sam Dingle, ok?), and also hope she's not going to suddenly find out she's pregnant in a month or so's time (although that would make for a great storyline)!
Gennie went from not even looking pregnant last week to sporting a cushion the size of a giant Easter egg this week. She's already overtaken EastEnders' Lola (who's been preggers for at least 14 months now!), but it's all very exciting, and I'm so glad to see Gennie getting a bigger part at last (and I don't mean her bump!).
Debbie got a bump on the head after she got in the way of Cain and Cameron's tiff. Luckily, 'baby Dingle' survived, but did anyone else find it hard to watch Cameron all over her like a rash in the hospital?
Chas certainly did, and she should jolly-well have got on that plane and left him to it. Trouble is, Cameron's in an impossible situation. Poor Chas. She's broken-hearted, and told him to leave her alone. Does she mean it though? I damn-well hope not. If those two aren't behind that bar together permanently (well, as permanently as anything can be in Soapland!), and Andy's back with Debbie by Christmas I'll be well fed up!
Laurel, look at those puppy-dog eyes
I'm more concerned about Ashley this week though (how's he managing to stay so clean though?), because I'm worried that Laurel's weakening and might be thinking of taking him back. It just wouldn't feel credible (to me) for them to get back together now. She clearly doesn't love him, and it's also clear that Marlon's pining like a little puppy waiting to be called from his basket.
And speaking of cute … how cute was Elliot this week? We all knew Nicola would 'take to him' in the end, and that just when she did there'd be a phone call from Kelly wanting him back.
No way. Jimmy: you fight it tooth and nail, OK? Nico says she'll have to support you because she's your wife (huh, like that's ever been a consideration for her!), but what she means is that she doesn't want him to go either – otherwise she'd have had his bags packed by now!
Not the most Grins of the Week we've ever had, but there's a few good 'uns here for you!
Jimmy: "Elliot's done a painting."
Nicola: "Better get the National Gallery on the phone."
Paddy: "I can run."
Rhona: "Yeah, to the fridge."
Charity (about the leftover food she'd cooked): "Nikhil, do you want it?"
Nikhil: "No, you're alright."
Charity: "Of course, I forgot. You ate last Christmas, didn't you? You're not due another meal for … six months?"
Robbie: "I need to find my niche."
Megan: "Well, don't let me stop you."
Bob: "Alicia looked positively glowing."
Rachel: That'll be the spray tan."
Charity (about Jai): "He has his moments. Shame they're only moments, but what can you do?"
* Aah. Andy's so sweet with Sarah. He's looking rather nice at the moment: just the right amount of beard!
* If Lisa's so hard up, how come she and Sam can afford to eat in the cafe?
* Didn't Amy look nice this week?
* Why couldn't Cain have just rung the Woolpack if he couldn't get hold of Charity? He knew she'd be there.
* Cain could be a loan shark; he's very scary!