School Locked Down For Fear of Eminent Ninja Attack

A ninja was reportedly witnessed creeping around the wooded area near a Barnegat, New Jersey elementary school. He was wielding what was believed to be a deadly sword, probably a ninjatō.

There was also the possibility that he had shuriken hidden in his garb. The officials at the local schools were faced with the question of why a ninja would be creeping around their elementary school. Their back room discussions led them to one logical conclusion: They were under attack. This eminent attack forced them to lockdown area schools at 9:00 on Wednesday morning. The investigation commenced and a stunning conclusion was reached: The ninja was a local camp counselor. A further interrogation revealed that the counselor was actually on his way to a costume party at a nearby school when he was spotted in the woods. The sword was plastic, and the costume was a cheap knock off. No respectable ninja would be caught dead wearing a department store costume! The lock down ended at 9:30 the same morning and the world breathed a collective sigh of relief. The children were, once again, saved by the quick action of public school officials.